Personal Highlights of Chapter 1

• Success is staying on course to your desired outcomes and experiences, creating wisdom, happiness, and unconditional self-worth along the way
• All of our experiences can contribute to the creation of our best selves
• Once you choose a positive belief or an effective behavior, you usually find yourself in a cycle of success. Positive beliefs lead to effective behaviors. Effective behaviors lead to success. And success reinforces the positive beliefs
• Potential learning experience occurs when neurons send out spikes of electrical activity which causes nearby neurons to do the same. When a group of neurons fire together, they form a "neural network" which is when the neurons join hands, jump up and down, and have a learning party. When the same collection of neurons fire repeatedly, the result is long term memory.
• To excel as a learner, you need to create as many neural connections in your brain as possible
• How to create many strong neural connections in your brain? Become an active learner
• The 3 principles of deep and lasting learning:
• Prior learning
• Quality of Processing
• Quantity of Process
• The CORE learning system:
• Collect
• Organize
• Rehearse 
• Evaluate
• High self esteem is the fuel that can propel us into the cycle of success
• Good news is that self esteem is learned
• People with high self esteem know that no one is perfect, and they accept themselves with both their strengths and weaknesses
• Successful people accept the things they cannot change, have the courage to change the things they can change, and possess the wisdom to know the difference - Reinhold Niebuhr
• Successful people acknowledge the weakness, accept it without self-judgement, and, when possible, take action to create positive changes
• Developing self-acceptance helps us to make choices wisely

Journal Entry #3

In your journal, write a list of ten or more of your personal strengths. For example, mentally: I'm good at math; physically:I'm very athletic; emotionally; I seldom let anger control me; socially: I'm a good friend and others: I am almost always on time.

1. I am very clean and organized
2. I can talk to anybody and make new friends easily
3. I am an exceptional learner
4. I can do anything I put my mind to
5. I rarely let anger cloud my judgement 
6. I am very honest and full of integrity
7. I forgive easily because we are all human
8. I am playful and humorous 
9. I possess a big heart full of love
10. I am fair and believe in equality

Write a list of ten or more of your personal weaknesses. For example, mentally: I am a slow reader; physically: I am out of a shape; emotionally: I'm easily hurt by criticism; socially: I don't listen very well; and others: I'm a terrible procrastinator.

1. I care what other people think 
2. I am never persistent and easily give up when the going gets tough
3. I get in shape and then get out of shape
4. I believe and then I don't believe
5. I never learn from my mistakes and always repeat myself
6. I have a hard time with self control
7. I can be unenthusiastic and dull
8. My self esteem fluctuates on a month to month basis
9. I lack self control
10. I tend to make the wrong choices
11. I have a hard time letting go of the past

Using the information from steps 1 and 2 and score #8 on your self assessment, write about the present state of your self-esteem. On a scales of 1 to 10 (with 10 high), how strong is your self esteem? How do you think it got to be that way? How would you like to be? What changes could you make to achieve your ideal self esteem?

On the good months, my self esteem can be at least a 7. The only good year I ever had, my self esteem was a 10. But this isn't about the good months or the good years, it is about my present self esteem, which isn't at its lowest. Middle and high school I would have to say is when my self esteem was at its all time low. But today? It is pretty close which is terrifying. I don't know if anyone knows how it feels to be sitting criss-cross apple sauce at the bottom of your own hole but it is a horrible feeling. But personally, the fear of sitting back in that same position I used to sit in before I started climbing the walls is more of a worse feeling than being there before you started climbing the walls. 

But while sitting here and describing the feeling and the horror and the dread of being back in that same position is a bit of relief, it isn't going to help me much now is it? Especially since I did it to myself.

After graduation, after going through almost seven years of humiliation, I ran from everything I had known and grew up with. In the beginning I believed it would make the feeling go away. It would help people get to know me and in turn would help me build my self confidence. So I moved to Wild and Wonderful West Virginia. Family. Friends I had known for years. New people who had no idea who I was. An entire new world to start all over again. But it didn't erase my past. 

So I go, and I begin my new life. But a few months in, it begins to look like the same life I lived here in central Florida. And everything starts all over again. The feeling of misery. The tears of shame. 

I began to think about options. Ways that I can stand up and dig my hands into the dirt and muck and grime on the walls of my own deep hole and start climbing. And I realized that a lot of my self esteem, actually all of my self esteem, is based on my health and my body. Always being a heavy and over weight young lady, I decided that was where I needed to start.

I did some research, found a weight loss clinic located in the center of the town I was living in and scheduled an appointment. The clinic offered a program called B12 and Lipo-B. This is how it worked: you went in and met the dietitian. The dietitian then does blood work and has you stand on this machine to measure your BMI. She then evaluates all the results to administer a dose to you. You're doses were distributed into 4 shots which were injected into your lower stomach once a week. The first one, they demonstrate how it is done. Then from their on you give yourself the shots on your own. You were also prescribed what is called Phentermin (if I spelt that correctly) which was also known as PhinPhin. 

Now, a lot of people look down on this particular program based on how unhealthy and how life threatening it could be. Which was true if done not in moderation. And it was a success! 20 lbs and about a month and a half later I was starting to feel brand new and even though I was struggling, I was climbing the walls of my hole slowly but surely.

I then realized that moving from all the humility and running from it wasn't really going to help. So I packed up my belongings and jumped back on the band wagon back to the beautiful sunshine state. It was refreshing to be back. But more decisions were about to be made. 

About 2 months back home, I realized that it was time to make a career choice and a step towards success so I jumped in my car one day, walked into a recruiting office, and met the one person who has ever in my life given me a sense of hope that one day, I could do this and one day, I would be proud of everything I had done and overcome. "I run a PT program," he said, "twice a week here at the office. Why don't you join us?" So twice a week, I would visit the recruiting office and twice a week I would run and do push ups and sit ups and all kinds of different calisthenics that were going to improve my physical strength. 

And then I woke up one morning on a day I didn't have PT and thought to myself "I'm going running." And I did it the next day and the next day and the next. And it was a whole new me everyday. A new challenge to overcome. And within the 4 months I had known my recruiter, within the 4 months I had been doing PT, I had lost almost 60 lbs! And I was brand new. And now that wall that I was climbing to get out of my whole had turned to solid rock and I had a better grip climbing it as if it were a ladder.

But I gave up. I lost my belief after my discharge from the military and a shock to my life. It had been my dream and I was pursuing that dream and it got ripped away from me. 

My loss of belief wasn't necessary though. I am still the same person and I can still be as strong as I had been when I had first faced my weaknesses almost 3 years ago. And so I will be.

I have to push myself. Believe in myself. When I'm sitting at home with nothing to do, go running, do some push ups. When I'm hungry, make a healthy enjoyable meal instead of chips and dip or macaroni and cheese. Get back in school. Try new things. Smile. Even if I have to write 100 sentences that say I am going to do this and I am going to do that I'll do it! 

I'm over this feeling. I want to shake it. And it's time to change and make it happen! 

Journal Entry #2

Identify something you have learned simply because you enjoyed learning it. It can be something you learned in school or anywhere else. What are you good at? What do you know more about than most people? What skills have you mastered? What are your hobbies? What have you spent a lot of time doing? To complete this step, simply write the completion of this sentence in your journal: "One thing I enjoyed learning is..."

One thing I enjoyed learning is Math. Any kind of math. I take it on like grabbing a bull by its horns. I'm good at it too! But it all makes sense with this neural network explanation they give you about how learning and the brain works. Because I can sit and do math all day, all night. Homework was odds 1-60? I was doing all 60 questions. Because I could.

With a focus on the information or skill you loved learning, write answers to the following questions (and anything else that will explain how you prefer to learn):

How did you gather the information or skills you needed to learn this? 
What did you do to learn the information or skills needed to learn this?
What else did you learn from this?
When you engaged in learning this, how long did you usually spend?


I remember, my freshman year of high school, my math teacher was a nazi. Everybody and their mother "hated" him. He was mean, he was complex, and he was an excellent teacher! I was such a gum chewer (and still am) and it was forbidden in the hallway in front of his classroom. Caught chewing gum? You wrote times tables, 3 pages, front to back. If you didn't turn them in the next day, you got three more pages. The next day? You still didn't produce 3 pages of front to back times tables of 1-12, of coarse what do you think? Yep! You go three more. But that next day, when you didn't turn them in and didn't have any done, the time had come. My first Saturday school. I sat in the library for hours not only writing the 9 pages of front to back 1-12 times tables but also writing ANOTHER 9 pages on top of it!
Now, I wasn't thrilled about math at this point in time. If anything, I hated it. I didn't ever wanna do it or see it again. But by golley, I knew every times table 1-12. I could promise you that. But then Monday came around, 1st period, walk into math class, annoyed already because my hand still cramped from Saturday, my teacher turns on the over head, dims the lights, begins blah blah blah-ing and guess what?! That basic knowledge of your basic 1-12 times tables made my math career 100 times easier and 10 times better. High school algebra, freshman year of high school first 9 weeks, my average was a 94. Great that's an A! 2nd 9 weeks, my average was a 98. And it never dropped below that.
Not only did I chew more gum to keep up with my times tables, but I also took my homework seriously and then some. Once again, homework was odds 1-60, all 60 questions were being done. The odds to be turned in, the evens to be kept for reference. What is that saying? Practice makes perfect!

What feedback did you use to determine how well you had learned this?

Textbooks are equipped with practice tests and end of section questions. So after every section and every chapter, I took the time to utilize these questions and take these practice tests. Textbooks are also equipped with an answer key in the far back of the pages so if I were to get a wrong answer, I would work the question backwards to establish where I went wrong in solving the problem and I would note the mishap for my studies before quiz's and tests. It may have been my own personal evaluation but it kept me on my toes.

How did you feel when you engaged in learning this?
What were the rewards for learning this?

It was exciting. I was one of the smartest in the class. It was like a boost of confidence. Plus it always made it exciting to learn something new! Because what else were you gonna be able to do?! Complex algebra was like learning the ABC'S! And it gave me a better view on life. Opened up door to opportunity and realizing how smart I really was. When really, it isn't about how smart you are but how much you apply yourself. It is lack of application that a lot of people suffer from. Not from being smart or stupid.

Write about what you have learned or relearned about learning and how you will use this knowledge to maximize your learning.

It's time to face the facts here. Routine, learning, having the ability to succeed, comes from the application of ones self. Because it is the practice that makes the success: the routine, the learning.
I flunked out of college last year because I didn't apply myself like I had the semester before better yet my freshman year of high school.
I lost my weight because I made sure I got up every morning and pushed myself (even if I didn't feel like it) to go running.
I gained my weight because I decided to become lazy and my neural networks developed the routine of laying in bed in the mornings instead of motivating my legs.
When I was writing my last paragraph, it was so refreshing to finally have an answer as to what caused my downward slope. Decisions I was making and routines I was getting into because in the end, it was what I was teaching my brain to do. They were the neural networks I was creating. Which, in turn, were replacing the neural networks I had already created but didn't practice as much anymore until I didn't practice them at all.
So with a sigh of relief and a deep breath of relaxation, I retire. Good night.